End Of Year Bridge Ceremony. Goodbye. Hello.

Well, good gracious.  It's been an amazing, action packed, life-giving, growin'-up, real-world, root thirsty kinda year :-).

The first year I homeschooled both kiddos and wow does it take a village.  A great village. A God Village. A weird village.  A village I never thought I'd want to seek out, let alone use as my life-line.

Schooling two kiddos on purpose was quite different than schooling one kiddo.  Grant is very gifted so, it was easier in that I just took him along for the ride, adjusting his materials/activities as was needed.  Ginger excelled in urban planning.  She loves that.  I think that's awesome!

I am overwhelmed with the thought of chronicling the year's achievements, setbacks, victories, sweet moments and summation - but I know I must.  That reflection is often a glimpse of wisdom that will be needed in the future.

For now, however, enjoy this video of our end of year ceremony.  I am amazed at how excited the kids are, when it's just the two of them and me :-). It is important to me to have a rite of passage.  Though our education, per se, is fluid, I want my kiddos to be formally acknowledged for what they've accomplished.

I need that too - I realized how much I needed to have an offical "last day" when, after this ceremony, I didn't do laundry or clean anything for two weeks (except the occasional shower).

I needed to dumb down.

Chill out.

Veg.

Meditate.

Get behind in everything.

Let go.

Click below:

End of Year Bridge Ceremony

Anderson Academy Hits All Time High Enrollment!

Ok, so, it's only been 6 months since my last post.   I have a quiet morning where I'm awake early enough to do a blog post, my Bible study and text a friend because, why just have a quiet morning? 

 So, I've been asked, "How is Hauteschooling(I'm going to trademark this so don't run out and do it first, k?) going? "  quite a bit lately so, I figured I'd post.  I have no idea how it's going :-).
I figure I'll be able to evaluate that in 20 years and if my kiddos aren't in prison and they are making the world a better place than how they found it, SUCCESS!  If they land in prison, they'll be safer behind bars, because they'll have to answer to ME when they get out, for all of this crazytown time and energy I spent constructing this homeschool life thing that I never thought I would do.  I could have been working this hard for CREDENTIALS for cryin' out loud! or MONEY!  You get the idea.  It's a spiritual road we're on as well, (Ask me.  You'll believe it.  Or, at least you'll let me believe it) so, all is not lost for sure. 

To sum up and wander all over the place... here goes (sorry Kate - grammar may suffer pains):

We had a wonderful summer that was peppered with some very tragic life events.  Our community lost a dear friend in the neighborhood and he and his family are always close to my heart and mind and in our prayers.  Also, a dear, dear friend has been re-diagnosed with breast cancer and she and her family are daily in our hearts and thoughts as well.

The kids enjoyed swim team, piano and gymnastics.  I did NOTHING for school except for Kumon.  Well, ok, so that isn't nothing, it is Kumon.  It's every day.   However, it felt like nothing compared to the rigor that we were used to.  It was wonderful, and we seemed to occupy our time with things that were fun and summer-ish.

In May, I scheduled a teacher appreciation getaway with a fellow hauteschooler.  She and I just got away to Vail for 24 hours, yet it felt like a decade.  We saved our pennies and had NO SCHEDULE.  Our travelocity just fell in synch (a God thing- ask me - you'll believe it - or, at least you'll let me believe it) and we just happened upon a spa, a restaurant, slept in till 10.  Got to breakfast by 11am.  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

It was so emotional watching Grant go through his ADORABLE preschool graduation at Cherry Hills Christian School.  Wow.  He had been there for three years.  More than 1/2 his life.  That is amazing.  The teachers there, Ms. Erin, Ms Sandy, Ms Brueker, Ms. Connor - all transformational in his development and love.  Now, he's in my (God's) hands - yikes.

The kids were enrolled in theater camp after swim team ended, for three weeks, with a big production at the end.  I was BLOWN AWAY!  It was through Rocky Mountain Theater Camp for Kids and I have never seen anything more put together (and yet w/o caddy competitiveness) in my life.  The director seemed to know a LOT about herding cats AND teaching a professional level of production with 5-8 year olds.  We are DEFINITELY doing that again next summer.

We then went to a family camp in August at Trail West in Buena Vista.  Another Anderson tradition begun.  What an incredibly fulfilling week.  Spiritually.  Emotionally.  Physically.  I had no idea what I packed, and it didn't matter.  We were just happy as pigs and could do as much or as little as we wanted.  So great to just be the 4 of us with a bunch of strangers enjoying the outdoors.  Kids so distracted by running in the trees they'd wet their pants.  Now, isn't that a great testimony to a good time?

The school year was fast approaching and I switched to a Classical Education Curriculum (insert minor panic attacks).  I had the kids go through academic assessments and both were on target, if not ahead of grade level.  Grant continues to prove cognitively gifted (99.9%) and Ginger incredibly so at reading comprehension and problem solving/relationship assessment.

So, time to revamp the classroom.  I am fully committed.  Last year, Ginger was using a file cabinet as a desk and we didn't change a thing about what used to be Ryan's office.  In early August, I got a wild hair and, after finding old paint in the garage, the dark 70's wood-paneled built-in bookshelves were painted white and my Dad's antique desk was relocated to the family room.  I resolved to navigate IKEA successfully (more major panic attack) for supplies and purchased clearance desks from Crate and Barrel.  I removed the dark plush rug and replaced it with a white shag and big floor pillows.  My desk is a beautiful glass top on top of a white base and our swivel chairs are black and white.  Very modern, bright - LOVE IT!  I even made a sign with the Anderson Academy crest to make it official.

2 months in, working our tails off.  I am struggling a bit (constantly tweaking), because of our schedule.  I am in three different studies for my own enrichment and theirs (believe me, you would yourself if you had these two in your hands),  Ginger takes ballet downtown 4 times a week (1st year in The Nutcracker) and I want Grant to have his own thing (he has soccer, but it's not really engaging).  So, when Ryan wakes up this morning, unbeknownst to him yet, I'm going to chat about Grant going to Jiu Jitsu Mondays, Weds and Thursdays and even Saturdays when he doesn't have a conflicting soccer game.  That way, I can drop him off and Ryan can pick him up and he's not coming downtown with me three days a week.  I am just feeling for the poor kid having to wait with us at the restaurant around the way.

I am also really divided about pulling out of a morning activity next semester - but I want the kids to just have a down day where they are not rushing around and yet aren't bored.  I want one day where we just do school in the morning and then we play.  That's still up for discussion.  I refuse to give up our CBS Bible study.  That I know.

The kids are in the Options program through Cherry Creek School District - which I love - I think that is still a great thing, until we get into a Classical Conversations Community (group that meets once a week doing the same curriculum I am).  They go to art and science at the neighborhood school, Carl Sandburg, then piano at the neighborhood teacher's house - it's a hilarious circus of an education.

I love the hybrid of public/private/homeschool/athletics.  The kids get exposed to a LOT of different situations that they never would have exposure to otherwise.  In any given week, the kids are in the urban environment, rural, purely homeschooled kiddos, neighborhood friends, adults, babies, church, unschoolers, earthers (read: Boulderites), grandparents, etc.

We have so many people in the kids' lives on a consistent basis, I hope that this schedule printout gives some a better idea of how often the kids are with the same friends, to really build that ever-important "socialization" piece I keep hearing about.  Mommy time is anytime during "school" that I'm freaking out and need a break - all day Friday is M-I-N-E.  Also, hubbs has sponsored many mommy vacations (ie silent retreat, trips to NYC, etc).

I think what I have to surrender more and more is what other people think.  I do admit though, I'm grateful for feedback (postitive and otherwise) - I need to keep in check the why behind what I'm doing, and aim for the balance.
To answer the most common feedback:
"So, when are your kids around other kids?"  (every day)
"You need a break from each other (that's why you look so tired)."  (The rest of a laborer is sweet and, we do get breaks from each other)
"How long are you really going to DO this?!?!?!"  ( I don't know)

I know those conversations happen with everyone.  No matter what the situation.  Other people mean well, but sometimes words are tougher to overcome when you have such high stakes - so much weight on your shoulders - with anything you are doing.


Things I haven't done well:  getting to the gym, getting to the gym, getting to the gym.
Balancing fun time with Grant.
Ginger has decided to take a back seat to her brother's enthusiasm in answering questions and settling in to "getting by" - but, the good news is, I can address that now, instead of her slipping unnoticed through the cracks, in the back of the classroom.  There IS no back of the classroom.

Miracles I've seen this year:
I still see God in all of this. (Ask me.  You'll believe it.  Or, at least you'll let me believe it)
I see more God in my son and daughter. (Ask me.  You'll believe it. Or, at least you'll let me believe it)
Grant and Ginger becoming better and better friends.
I haven't died.
The kids haven't died.
I haven't had any wine for lunch.


What I need:  To get to the gym :-).  Find my gluteus muscles again, so I can walk like a normal person.  Finish my real estate website/app thing.  Make another app for homeschooling. Get to the gym.

"Teachable Moments" - they're EVERYWHERE!

OK - now that I have a little bit of a brain (feels like it's been the first three months after having a baby)...  I think I can keep this updated a little more often but I have some catching up to do.

What I see in homeschooling that is vastly different than what happens when you're not privately tutoring your kids, is that there are a billion "teachable moments" in any given lesson.  Opportunities to teach something that may or may not have to do with the subject at hand, that would have never been detected.  It's exhaustingly fulfilling.

Mainly, I am referring to character lessons.  Opportunities to talk about things that will build a foundation for a lifetime.  Diligence, hard work, tools to help fight the temptations of laziness, boredom, discouragement, impatience, challenges, envy, etc.  I can stop the lesson and talk about (hopefully with the fruits of the Spirit) things that are applicable to everything.  Such as, working at something that isn't "interesting" or doing your best handwriting when you are sick of handwriting or finding something interesting in a story that was poorly written or paying attention when you're tired, or how your mind feels different/learns differently if your body is sitting up straight or loose like a noodle.  how your heart lifts when you are smiling vs. when you are frowning.  That your thoughts create your experience.   I can see first hand the eyes glaze over when we've maxed out the amount of information capable of being ingested. We can take a break and review the info later (i.e. learning facts about the different states/colonies) in a way that is more fun.  My mom pointed this last one out - that if a child in school tunes out/gets distracted - it's not really noticed.

I can also see a lot of teachable moments for me.  All of the above apply and some others.  My ego pops up everywhere.  That Jesus is more importantly reflected in my actions more than my words and my words confuse my kids' faith if my actions are impatient and rude.  I've learned that my apologies are more frequent than my actions are like Jesus.  I've learned that church can be our classroom more than anywhere in the world.  That our classroom can be mobile.  Should be mobile.

I also have a rich fantasy life - that we'll somehow become independently wealthy and be able to travel all over and I'll grow dreadlocks or, more likely, shave my head (thinning hair).

I see that Ginger and Grant's relationship has changed DRAMATICALLY.  There is no longer the need to jockey for social achievement at school for Ginger, which was at many times the focal point of the day for her.  So, now there is so much more time and energy spent hanging out and playing/learning with her brother.  Grant is no longer a nuisance that she has to deal with in between school.  He is becoming an ally.  They have sleepovers in her room 4 or 5 times a week.  A few weeks after they started this, Ginger came to me and said, "Wow - Grant is so much fun to play with when I'm not being mean to him!  I've got to change."
That was a day I'll never forget.

New Wineskin Can Be Itchy & Uncomfortable...

SO SAD - I had written a post about the last 13 weeks and closed the window before I had saved it.  BUMMER!
OK so, start again.  My Dad, the writer, always says writers rewrite and my Mom the painter paints the SAME painting 10 times if she doesn't like it.  So, I guess I can rewrite once and not complain too much.

Our family took an incredible vacation to Orcas Island in August before we started school.  It was beyond refreshing and gave me a chance to do quite a bit of prep for school as well as just relax.

The first day of Anderson Academy was August 17, 2012 - at Ginger's request.
It was the first day of the neighborhood school and Grant's first day at Pre-K.  So, there it was.  I had done a lot of prep for this semester and then went backwards in prep for the months, weeks then days.  So, I had listed on our white board many many things to do, as well as the time I thought it would take us - and the classroom looked awesome :-).
Ginger came bounding downstairs in her jammies and decided that would be the unofficial school uniform!  Love it.
I was nervous and felt like an impostor; however, I've practiced the "fake-it-till-ya-make-it/sink-or-swim" combo many times before and it seems to work wonders when your actual confidence bails on you.  Anywhoo - we had a great day and I had everything planned so that we could be done with "school" by the time we went to pick up Grant.
Ginger was - and is - so eager to do school - it's a bit bizarre.  I fully expect she's still in the honeymoon phase, but she's been sure about this for the last three years.  Who knew?  I have asked her if homeschool is what she expected and she just says, "yea.  well, I didn't know what to expect."  Even on the darkest days (my side as a teacher - yikes) she's never looked back.

Day 2.  August 18, 2012.
We decide to have a playdate with her friend Kayla from preschool cause she hasn't started school yet and because now, "we can."  I took Ginger, Grant & Kayla to the pool at the gym cause the neighborhood pool wasn't open during the early part of the day anymore.  It was deserted.  I thought I would love that, as then it is so much easier to keep track of the kids and we are "beating the system." it was lonely.  It was weird.  I started to feel my heart beating faster and I felt my breath becoming shallower.  What in the world am I doing?
Enter in desperate dramatic thought -
"I am without the community I had in the neighborhood"
"No chit chat at drop-off, library duty, room mom stuff - nothing. Isolation.  I'm weirder."
"what am i doing to my kids?  There's no one to play with here...  their friends are all in SCHOOL somewhere!"
"I don't know if the kids still need backpacks? "
"I suck at this!"
"What about my life?"

I backpedalled all the way down the rabbit hole.
Then, when it was time to go home, Ginger's friend said it must be nice to homeschool because family is so nice.  That was weird.
I was sinking into culture shock.  I felt like I was living someone else's life and yet saw my other choices as antiquated.  I've drunk the koolaid but still miss/remember the taste of what was.  New wineskin is itchy and irritating and unfamiliar.

Day 3.  I'm now adapting a routine.  8:00pm(night b4), put kids to bed - 8:45, lesson planning for the next day.  Prep white board, supplies, books, etc.  I firmly believe that if you put in an enormous amount of work into anything to begin with - the payoff down the road is well worth it and you've built a solid foundation.  So, I work for an hour or two each night at the beginning - just to cover my bases and research the different methodologies each of our curricula required.

Day 3 goes remarkably smoothly.  I chose a math curriculum that I love and started behind a couple of levels so that Ginger would feel confident with the lessons and that I would be able to catch up to my own adjustments before tackling newer math concepts with her.

Now, day whatever, ending week 13.  It is amazing how smooth the transition has been, considering that I don't fit in anywhere and don't know what's happening around me.  The time flies by and the certainty only increases.  I don't enjoy the pain of discovering my shortcomings in such technicolor - but it allows me to finally be aware of them, which is the beginning of growing beyond them, or, embracing how God made me.  How God made Ginger - and Grant.

I have experienced that our family is somehow more of a family.  This I cannot explain except I realized that sometimes during the beginning of homeschool I wanted to shut down - something scared me about the intimacy of it.  The stillness of it.  The we're-together-all-the-time part.  After a few weeks, it hit me.  I have compartmentalized my life since I can remember.  Especially as it had to do with family - because it was sometimes painful without purpose or resolution.  Now, with my own family, I have done some of the same.  It's not that my boundaries are gone now - those will always be healthy - but the defenses are exposed for what they are and wholly unnecessary.  Anyway - I'm thinking out loud as I go - so, I'm not sure of the coherence of this....

I have realized too that I am more of an introvert than I once thought.  There is a peace in simplicity of action and mind.  God is much more integrated into our lives as well.  A spiritual experience instead of a spiritual appointment.

So many things to discuss... So many unexpected gifts from this...  this... hard... work....

I will post again soon - but to sum up:
This is EXACTLY where we are supposed to be.  Confirmed ad-nauseum.
Uncomfortable.  Lonely.  Scary.  Stupid.  Irritating.  Miraculous.  Oh yea, and, we're learning a LOT academically - VERY rigorous - incredible resources out there of all kinds....  funny how that seems like an aside compared to everything else we're learning :-).

Pictures coming lata -

LAST DAY at school... "Think It Through, Please!"

So, I've been swallowed up by "life" and haven't posted for a while.
However, a momentous occasion occurred two days ago and I DON'T want that to pass me by completely unnoticed.
Ginger attended her LAST DAY at the institution.  Wow.  This is a H-U-G-E step for our family!!!!!!

However, I tried to be as low key as possible with the drop off and etc.  Ginger doesn't do well with goodbyes and I also just wanted to think of it as a natural progression - as this decision has been so gradual, we're all quite used to it by now...

Anywhoo - I was curious to see how Ginger fared on her last day of school.  It's 2:03pm, I'm sitting in the carpool line, waiting for my sweet little one.  I see hundreds of kids pouring out of school - many of them with bouquets of flowers.  5th grade graduation, I assume.

I had read on the website that there was going to be a "walk" at 1:45pm for the kids who were graduating AND/OR were not returning to Sandburg next year.  I wrongly assumed (isn't that redundant?) that I would be contacted regarding Ginger walking with those kids if they were to include her and I purposefully did NOT request her inclusion for two reasons.
She is 1) returning to the school for Art classes once a week next year anyway and
2) she is the ONLY 1st grader in her class NOT returning - so, how would it feel to be singled out as a SIX YEAR OLD - waving goodbye to your friends, during the graduation theme song???!?!?!?!?!  I think that might introduce drama where there was none necessary.

Anyway, I am in the car, looking for Ginger - I see her little head bob around the corner.  She's holding flowers and bawling her little eyes out.  I exit the car (which is against the rules) and come up to her - scooping her up in my arms.  I didn't have to ask what was wrong.

I have nary a kind word to say about the decision to include Ginger in the 5th grade graduation/1st grader not-continuing walk - "Think It Through Please" - is about the best I can come up with.

My parents were amazed at the shortsightedness of the faculty - especially when they know so much about the kiddos psyche at that point.

The good news:  1)She was over it in about 10 minutes after I reminded her of a birthday party we were going to straight away. 2) She was still excited not to be going back full time.  3) Above all, it royally confirmed that, as a mom, I have the luxury and responsibility and honor of thinking through things, praying for wisdom and discernment about the appropriate processes for my family - especially at this tender age.

Expectations: The Silent Dreamkiller

I have realized from my own attitudes that, gone undetected, expectations will kill your dreams, destroy the ability to find gratitude and sew seeds of deep bitterness & attitude of victimization.   A lethal recipe for a poison that will steal the life and light from any moment or relationship that you hold dear.

I am realizing that I have to beg for exposure of my undetected expectations about homeschooling.  I have to suspend them as I see them.

I think I'm more afraid of what is unseen - but isn't that also where truly walking in faith comes in?  Be sure of what you HOPE for and CERTAIN of what you CANNOT see.

Huh>

Unsolicited Confirmation Always Feels Good

I am so grateful for being able to process this journey, one day at a time.  It's a fascinating process.  I have seen over the years and, especially after I have committed to homeschooling, that I continue to follow breadcrumbs of confirmation that I am walking the path God has led before me, including my family.

On a few occasions, just this week, there were things that made it clear that Ginger could really thrive if given more dynamic opportunities that are now open to us.

My parenting has been so much less about the box and getting us into it.

My mind has opened up to a lot of brainstorming that I've not previously given myself permission to explore.

I can't wait to hang out with her.  Chat more.

She's a naturally inquisitive person - so there is no telling where we will go!!!

I met and connected with other homeschool moms who I see will be kindreds at least in this arena.

So, that's that for that.

It's a beautiful day - my son is back in his not-so-self-controlled-self.  Ugh.  Going to be a long few weeks  until it cycles out of him again.

Enjoy today.  Accept love.  Live in and through Grace.  Take responsibility.  You are beautiful.

Inadequate Apology for Insensitivity in last post

My Post summarizing Chapter 4 of the book I'm reading made a statement regarding medication for children with diagnosis as being a way of "ignoring" a problem.  I was simply stating what the book said, so that I am not painting all with a rosy brush. However, I was so tired and focused on the other topics, I did NOT mention (which was totally insensitive of me) that I disagree with their blanket statement - I know many moms who have kids that are in seasons of life where the medical assistance they get allows them to enjoy being kids.  Without it - there would be a huge deficit.  I myself have been on Prozac for a season and my family thanks me.
Again, I cannot apologize enough for causing some of my sweet and cherished friends anguish about simply loving their kids with all their heart mind soul & strength.
I am just grateful that they love me enough to be honest with me about it... thank you.  That is humbling.

...It's Just Getting Really Good at Staring At The Cat

Chapter 4 -TFYOHYC - Homeschool or not, this changed my life in 23 pages!

I wish that were an exaggeration...  but I would now recommend this book for marriage, parenting, friendships, faith...  OK - I'll do my best to sum up - but might end up rewriting the whole chapter.

• Get to know your own learning style (naturally, not imposed) and your childs.  Order these books: "Discover Your Child's Learning Style" -Kindle Hodson (Prima 1999) and "In Their Own Way: Discovering and Encouraging Your Child's Personal Learning Style"
• A little person grows in their own way and at their own pace.  Just like you can't teach a baby to walk before they are developmentally ready, the same goes for younger kids in many ways.
• Be careful of previously placed "labels" for your child.  They may be a dumbed down way to handle a learning style that is not addressed for kids in school (I've noticed that in a lot of schools - they seem to teach to only 2 of the 8 or 9 learning styles and if you don't excel at those, you are left in the dust and labeled).
• "In the late 20th Century America, when it is difficult, expensive or inconvenient to change the environment, we don't think twice about changing/numbing the brain of the person who has to live in it." Ken Livingston, Vassar psychology professor
• In homeschooling, you can change the environment as you see your little ones change and grow.
• Artificially forcing a certain learning style is destructive in many ways (my husband was labeled by the system when he was very young as dyslexic and he fights that demon on a regular basis (and he's a much faster/better/more curious reader than many I know).
• This chapter really emphasized the importance of caution in the area of labeled kids.  It talks about medications in a way that is quite generalized and I have too many friends who've been in the difficult position of choosing the right path for their kids.  So, this was something I disagree with personally.  No one can put a blanket answer on all kids.  (strike one for the book)  Homeschooling is much less tragic than losing a child to this repeated discouragement and possibly worse/fatal consequences.
• Harvard weighs in on the "Multiple Intelligences"/Learning Styles - Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences.  The schools teach to the first two:
• Linguistic: reading/listening
• Logical/Mathematical
• Bodily-Kinesthetic
• Visual-Spacial
• Musical
• Interpersonal
• Intrapersonal
• Naturalist
• Gardner calls homeschooling "Individually Configured Education" because he was from Harvard and encouraging the wealthy to buy ridiculous amounts of materials.
• Review of "Discover Your Child's Learning Style" - Kindle Hodson

DEVELOPING YOUR FRAME OF HEART

• It seems the happiest humans sprinkled throughout mankind's history were those who found balance between head and heart, between intellect and emotion.  Accept-Observe-Know
• Accept.




Accept the things we cannot change

We sometimes choose to fight nature by trying to alter a child's natural inclination to fit someone else's picture of how this child should be. In so doing, we rob children of their uniqueness (By default, we rob society too.) By knowing our child's intelligences and learning styles, we know what not to change - so we can accept.

- Often, a different educational goal would  better honor the unique intelligence, disposition and talents of an individual.




WAIT FOR IT...  

LIFE CHANGING QUOTE COMING UP!  

SAY GOOD BYE TO YOUR OLD SELF THAT READ THE ABOVE INFORMATION!!!!




"Once we acknowledge  that it's best not to change something, it's easier for us to let nature take its course, to accept.  Accepting, then, means giving up your own perceptions of what should be and allowing what is, to blossom." - DOBSON




  ANOTHER ONE ....

"Going against the majority and accepting responsibility while others give it away take courage."

"Acceptance bestows remarkable peace on its bearer and on those who are accepted as they are."




ADMIT IT- you are not the same person anymore :-)




 Instead of looking for problems to fix/control, you can now watch for clues that will help you to help your child learn and enjoy it.  Ideally, you will observe your child with a loving heart.  If the heart isn't loving, you will not be observing, but merely watching.




Ask your child questions - remember the answers.  Have more organic chat time so that it isn't a Spanish inquisition.




Finally - "Homeschooling is life, intensified.  The fears come and go.  Remember that success at homeschooling doesn't necessarily involve being the youngest child ever to perform with the Philharmonic.  Sometimes  it's just getting really good at staring at the cat."  Kathryn Baptista




OK - is this AMAZING?!  Not only is it practical and helpful in forming an academic approach, it seems that it rings true to the SOUL.  How many times have I wanted to be ACCEPTED and not CHANGED?  Granted, some of the things I wanted others to accept were ludicrous and even bad for me or them, but the things that weren't damaging - the "weird" parts of me that weren't the hottest thing at the cocktail party or whatever - 

How can I ACCEPT my daughter's innocent uniqueness, if I cannot accept my own?  Ironically, even before I read this, I had an AMAZING chat with Ginger just lying on her bed.  Sweet Ginger.  After reading this, I look forward to many, many more of those.

GOD MADE US AND HE LOVES US JUST THE WAY HE MADE US!!!!!!   

I'LL GO AHEAD AND SIGN OFF THERE.  I need to swim in some love.

Things To Think About but NOT OVERthink

OY - the plague of the mind.  I tell ya -  I am so grateful for wisdom in proverbs, good news from friends and love to fill my mind.  Otherwise the floodgates open to the inertia of negativity and/or just the static of the day.
Something I didn't think I'd think about the homeschool journey is my spousal relations.  My husband and I work together in Real Estate (he does 95% of the work outside the office and in the home office).  I have learned a LOT about our marital dynamics through this journey and I had no idea that the notion of homeschooling would kind of send me into an "overthink" about my husband.
"Will he micromanage my homeschool process?"
"Will I feel like I'm reporting to him my progress so I'm not judged as lazy or harsh?"
Ugh - so many thoughts... so, I just asked him how he's been feeling about the research I've done.
"Great!  I had just accepted that you may not ever want to do it - so, this is just a bonus and will be what's best for the kids."
Hmf.  Well, that wasn't what I was expecting.  So simple.  So lovely.
I get in my own damn way.
I didn't read my book today and I feel guilty.  That is more of a confession and absolution all in one :-).

WHAT Am I Thinking?!?!?!

We woke up this morning, after an all-nighter of my son puking in the bathroom (tho he's adorable and cuddly when he's sick) and it's a beautiful day outside.  I drive Ginger to the neighborhood school (the one I went to) and see our neighbors pulling up to drop their kids off, kids playing on the playground - that awesome noise - and all of the other fun busy-ness that comes with a small neighborhood elementary school.
It is so cute.  The kids will do great and I'm sure going to miss a lot about the school.  I am also going to miss dropping my daughter off and having time with my son.  I'm going to miss dropping off my daughter and my son and having a shopping/lunch date with a friend.  I'm going to miss volunteering for school parties.  I'm going to miss the Halloween parade and seeing all the kids in their costumes.  I'm going to miss the music performances on the stage.   So many things.  Like I said, I didn't come to homeschooling because I don't like schools.  I LOVE SCHOOLS!!!!  I love teachers! I was public school - hubby was private school - both good. What I love most about it is the social piece. I am a social/relational person;  albeit awkwardly. Even though I had horrific years in Middle School - well, 7th grade mainly, I had so many more fun years.  Granted, I made some hilariously bad decisions - but overall - I have such a fondness for the potential for my kids there.
I feel like I'm leaving my country and yet still living here.  Weird.  Weird.  I'm going to be weirder in my community than I already am.  My kids are going to be the "homeschool" kids.
I was SO glad to know that I can enroll Ginger in the neighborhood school for Art and Music class, and she can stay for recess with her friends there.  That is amazing flexibility and I'm so grateful to the district and the principal for arranging for that.  I think it'd be too hard to just cut it off completely and this will be great for Ginger to keep in touch with friends in a new yet familiar way.
I am looking forward to reading the next chapter in my book so that I'll get some encouragement.  It was funny, one of the passages I read was about how schooled kids' (public or private) parents don't like to hear about homeschooling because of the elitist attitude the hs parents have.  I think I'll just be jealous of the schooled kids' parents and sheepishly change the subject if it comes up.  I don't like homeschool parents either. :-)

A LITTLE COMIC RELIEF

awesome, hysterical, bomb-the-homeschool-myth-comedy

It Takes A Village

Interesting stuff... went to a homeschool group tonight.  Knew a few of the ladies from brief introductions but not close friends.  However, the discussion questions each table was to discuss sparked incredible discussion.

More curriculum research (realizing this is the never-ending project)

• There is so much to choose from and yet each family is so different and so is each mom.

More than anything else... there was a spiritual element to the discussion that was truly humble, not "religious" or arrogant.  There was just a desire to incorporate the soul instead of compartmentalize it into a forbidden subject or simply one that is outside of the others.

That my daughter can talk about the Bible or prayer or her own relationship with God openly and is happy to look for God in the little things she's learning is pretty awesome.  I leave God at the door or the elevator or in the car, whenever it is convenient to the situation.

I am a recovering compartmentalist.

The opposite of that is to celebrate the soul in us and in all of us.  Pretty cool.  

Every day won't be this profound but I'm a rookie and easily impressed.

I did feel awkward and like I didn't really 'click' - but, that is a familiar feeling to me :-).

I disagreed with some of the women's practice of their faith.

It was a great - healthy environment.  I had differences.  So did they.

Moving on :-)  I love being the rookie though... then you don't know the real deal behind the deal...

RANDOM REVELATIONS OF YUMMINESS

After writing that last post and spending a day with my kids, and writing and thinking and listening to sweet music in the backyard - My inner non-conformist efficiency-addict is.... getting.... VERY... VERY... excited!  Fear is beginning to wane today....  Have done a bit of housework but nothing major :-).  The permission that I can love and observe and listen is beyond refreshing... I used to adore the external corporate schedule.  Tell me what to do and underpay me.  It's worth it because I KNOW I can pay my rent (barely).  I know where to go.  I know what to say and how to email and who to cc and bcc and who not to.  I know how to leave early without the boss knowing, because I'm not doing anything anyway.  Working for myself was like the same cliff as homeschooling.  I thought I would be swallowed alive and that no check would come without first going through a colossal HR department first.  No one telling me what to do but me?  Ooooh wait!  I remember that concept!  When I was a dancer and choreographing a solo piece.  No one but me.  I pushed myself harder and was more creative than I'd ever had to be when in class.  The technique and practice empowered me to move in a way that truly expressed how strange my thoughts were.  Or, express beauty that was painful or pain that was beautiful...  How am I drawing these connections now...  who CARES?  I see God in this fluidity...

The First Year Of Homeschooling Your Child

OK - so, next update.  Thank you for all of your positive feedback and I do always welcome different views/opinions/challenges too :-).

I just started reading "The First Year Of Homeschooling Your Child" by Linda Dobson and I am SO GRATEFUL SHE WROTE THIS BOOK!  Click on the link below for the Amazon page.  You can preview it as well.

The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child

I've just read the first two chapters today and I gained these takeaways:

1. Build a foundation
• Journal your reasons for researching/considering/doing homeschooling
• Begin to observe your own educational philosophy as it emerges
• Research the legal requirements in your city/state for homeschooling
• Decide how you will assess your child's progress (I have found there are several wonderful and easy ways to do this.  One, through an "Umbrella School" that files your paperwork with the state, conducts independent assessment tests and can help with curricula recommendations for your child's specific learning style & your teaching style - for Colorado it's SHILOH or CHEC or several online Umbrella options.  CHEC and SHILOH are Christian organizations but do not have any denominational bent in their assessments, etc.
• Finally, as the curricula research commences, the pandora's box of spending can occur.  Decide on a budget - then begin the research.
2. The first step is up to you.
• There is no first step of all first steps
• Get comfortable observing yourself and your child in meditation, prayer and lots of PLAY!
• "I wish someone had told me that it is better to jump in, get started, and learn from your mistakes than to sit worrying and trying to decide what to do and how to do it "perfectly." 
• Karyn Scallorn, Stanley, Wisconsin - quoted in the book
• Preparing food for their mind and heart is no less worthy of your time and attention than preparing food for their body.  
• If you realize from the get-go that homeschooling doesn't HAVE to mean "school at home, " if you understand that love for your child will see you through, and if you realize that homeschooling can fit a wide variety of family circumstances and needs, this crash course will get your wheels turning in the right direction... Pg 5
3. Every Day Will Not Be Perfect - take a break and give yourself one...
4. If it feels like you are forcing the learning (you'll know if one or both of you are crying) then it may be the wrong time, curriculum or approach
5. Many reluctant homeschoolers are just plain scared, for all the same reasons you can think of to be scared (ME!!!!!)
6. Spend the majority of time your first year just observing you & your child & getting information yourself.  You will be amazed at how much learning happens.
• Observe this little things too
• what time of day is best for your homeschool to happen?
• when are you and your child the most apt to absorb things?
• What subjects are your child naturally curious about ("academic" or not?)
• How do they explore new things?  Talking? Doing?
• Do they learn better sitting? Standing? Listening to music?
• Learn to just let go and love your kids and their learning style will become easily obvious
7. Be aware that there will be a culture shock and agitation for you (and less likely your child) when there is no externally imposed school schedule and organization.
8. You will never have all of the answers
9. Don't compare yourself to other homeschool moms
10. It's OK to take time off during challenging times.  A day, a week a month.  You'll have no problem catching up and it's better to have that Grace then square peg it.
11. Enjoy being together and relax is the MOST important aspect of the first year.  "What you do does not matter as much as the spirit in which you do it."
12. Be your own guinea pig

Not Just for Dresses With Doilies Anymore!!!

Well, here we go!

This is my official launch of the commitment to homeschool Ginger, my first grader next year.  This has been a 4 year journey and from the folks I have talked to, there seem to be a tremendous amount of moms out there who are interested in the choice of homeschooling but are completely overwhelmed by different aspects of the notion.
The initial research alone is like drinking from a fire hose so, I will blog my thoughts/ideas/research here and if you see something you want more info on, please email me and I'll try to help.

Why did I decide to homeschool?

- Well, I honestly was bothered by divine intervention for 4 years.  I am not the "homeschool" type.  I am not patient.  I don't fear the world.  I don't wear doilies of any kind on any occasion.  I don't own goats.

- However, I continued to meet homeschool families - not seeking them out - just "randomly" over the years.  My daughter asked me to homeschool her, even though she LOVES her school.  I became very curious about the efficiency factor, the international factor, the foreign language factor, the possibilities are continuing to open up as I research.  The sky, it seems, is the limit!

- Only 4-5% of the US population is home schooled and that population increases by 75% every year.

- Though I love public schools and private for a bajillion reasons and think teachers are amazing, the schedule and approach to the traditional school system seems a bit antiquated.  It is, at best, limited.

-  My husband was interested in it from the get-go

- It allows for tremendous curiosity and creativity to flourish

- It doesn't foster an attitude of compartmentalizing education into a specific location/building/time frame.  - - Education becomes part of every day, every thing, every where and every one.

- It fosters family and the maturation process occurs in a natural environment - organically.

- There are incredible opportunities not just to provide academic enrichment, but life-lessons/character development skills that would be otherwise missed opportunities.

The list could go on and on...

What am I afraid of/hesitant about?

- I am impatient and a terrible teacher

- I'll hurt our relationship

- I won't have "me" time

- I won't know where I start and she stops

- I'll yell

- She'll yell

- I'll miss something critical that she should have had

- I'll be lazy

- I'll yell

- She'll yell

- the Judgement of others

- I'll have to be with other weird homeschool moms who I judge

Why those fears aren't stopping me?

- If a teacher is in charge of 30 kids - I can at least cover 1 kid in the way I need to in a shorter amount of time.

- If it gets too dark and stormy - she's back in school :-).

OK - so, that's a good start - I'll post about my curriculum/daily schedule research next....