So, here we are. Standing almost completely on the other side of our 4th year homeschooling.
Wow. I remember the words of a stranger telling me last summer that the 4th year was the best, because it is when you and your kids finally have untangled yourselves from the expectations of others and set your own standards. It is the year your kids settle into their own skin and their curiosity has full permission to thrive. I asked her what was magical about the 4th year and she didn't have an answer. It just is.
I can say that is true with all of my being.
My kids went from complaining or fears of missing out on something (esp my oldest) to really embracing the freedom they have. My oldest developed an app this year and tutors 3rd graders in reading and spelling at a nearby at-risk school. She was able to write creatively and challenge herself academically in ways that I never had to introduce.
My youngest also tutors kids in spelling and reading at the same school, he has learned the beginnings of computer coding and realized he is really good at building in robotics. He has finished more history books than you could imagine and memorized over 400 items of History, Math, Science, Latin, Geography, Timeline and English Grammar. He also has a tertiary understanding of those items and can connect the dots to the real world when he sees or hears something that is familiar to him.
More than that, I have seen the character of both kids begin to unfold and blossom. I'm sure that happens everywhere. Isn't it AWESOME that we mature? That, in and of itself is a miracle. That we go through difficult challenges and incredible victories and somehow, the brain utilizes this information to actually transform us. Evolve us. What spiritual person could deny evolution of this kind? How can a faith not make room for evolution as well? God himself designed us to learn, to transform, to evolve and He made us in His image. Hasn't he made everything with that adaptability? Without adaptability, I can't imagine where I would be from one day to the next as a human being, let alone a homeschool mom/entrepreneur. Adaptability is only possible because of how God wired my brain and my heart to work synch. The current situation must become less comfortable that what is required to grow/change (introducing restraint, new thinking, benefit of the doubt are all VERY uncomfortable in situations where they have not been practiced prior). However, once the mind and heart have communicated with the soul, and there is a consensus, to move forward and adapt to a new paradigm, then the magic happens. That is where the Spirit meets the flesh and the world gets a glimpse of LIFE. New life. Re-birth. Every day. Isn't that AWESOME>!>
Anyway, at those moments, when I experience that for myself, or, watch it in my kids or friends, I am high. Propelled by the adrenaline, dopamine and every other joy-inducing chemical that God made to fire off when we believe that we are HIS! That we can defy the powers of death and stupid habitual destructive beliefs about ourselves because we are ADAPTABLE. What is also so cool is that our adaptability is not a forced situation. We choose when, where, how much and why we either adapt or we don't. Sometimes we just can't see that there is a need to adapt or, most likely in my experience, I don't adapt because the grief of letting go of expectations is more painful than moving forward - even if it means moving forward to joy.
I have seen my own capacity for love increase or, deepen really... because, finally, my selection for who to love has become much more selective.
I serve many, but love fewer. I have seen that my kids are finding that this is satisfactory to them. I used to see their nervousness if we didn't have plans or people. Now, they read or play or whatever - although the people we love we see all the time :-).
Thank you God. Thank you Jesus for such an incredible year of transition. Evolution. Love. Thank you for the trinity - the tripod- the trifecta that is you and reflected in our mind, body, spirit. Thank you for your gentle clarity. Your kind and patient consistency. For replacing death with a life that gives way to yet more life.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Human Condition: The 532,345th Reason I LOVE Homeschooling!!!
Honestly, I cannot imagine the last few years being any more difficult for so many reasons.
NONE of them being homeschool (wow).
In fact, most, if not ALL of the joy, love and miraculous-ness has ALL come as a DIRECT result of homeschooling and what it requires and gives off and gives birth to.
A daily example - this week, no - even just the last TWO DAYS have been an epic example of the magic that still exists in this horrible world. That God still does provide little miracles of encouragement in just the perfectly weird way that I need it. My faith has been purified of all bullshit.
First and foremost, I've been so amazed by my kids. Just sitting there watching them. They are exasperating little miracles of curiosity, defiance, cuddles, serving, fascination, hard work, laziness, laughter, screaming and everything in between. I've had the priveledge of seeing my daughter grow from a six year old to a 10 year old. I have watched her be a soldier, a girl, a friend, a hero, an inventor, helper and so much more... I have watched my son grow from 4 years old to 8 at home and witnessed his tender heart, his wacky levels of testosterone, his heartbreak, his learning, his getting back up, his voracious appetite for information.
This last week alone, because of homeschool we:
- Got to travel out of town to see a friend in her new house - on a Tuesday night - because we could.
- Got to follow up on a coding project to begin developing Ginger's app, version 2.0 - because we were homeschooling and we had the time and found the resources.
- Got to answer a LOT of questions from dinner guests and learn a tremendous amount of information about their views of education and they are now championing the kids in different projects.
- Had the privilege of visiting a school in Denver that needed books and that visit now has become a weekly date with their Bubbagramps, tutoring at risk kids in reading and spelling.
- Began planning a trip to New Zealand for October to visit another homeschool family.
- During the day, a visit from a window rep became an incredible discovery. He is one of the top 10 youtube videos for card-trick how to's! So, the kids got to see his videos and he was so encouraging of what they were doing at school and they got a free magic lesson, right in their own kitchen!
- I received an incredible amount of generosity from other homeschool moms who are in the battle everyday and yet find the time and energy to stay centered, give to themselves & their families, love on their husbands & kiddos and retain a HUGE sense of humor and adventure. These women, after 4 years of homeschooling, have finally become my "people." I realize that for the first time, I have far fewer friends in the system than out. These people encourage my husband, my family, my kids, my faith, my hope. They are hands-dirty kinda people. I think to be a hands-dirty person for others, you have to own your shit - especially the kind that scares the literall Hell right out of you. You have to face the shame that makes you puke and then know that it wasn't real... we must face our own fears/needs/dysfunction and with that, sort through all of the self-judgement, shame and etc. that we carry (read:get EVERY Brene Brown book you can and pour over it Slowly, painfully). The goal isn't to get rid of the shame, but just see it for what it is, so that it doesn't prevent you from loving fully.
- What I've learned recently as well, is that homeschoolers have an entrepreneurial spirit. They see what is inefficient and they tighten it up. They see what is interesting and pursue it. They see what needs fixing and they fix it. They see what is toxic and they leave it to it's own demise. We are like kids - always asking "why?" and, we don't stop until we are in an environment that supports that. It models a way of being that rewards our own kids curiosity (much to our exhaustion).
NONE of them being homeschool (wow).
In fact, most, if not ALL of the joy, love and miraculous-ness has ALL come as a DIRECT result of homeschooling and what it requires and gives off and gives birth to.
A daily example - this week, no - even just the last TWO DAYS have been an epic example of the magic that still exists in this horrible world. That God still does provide little miracles of encouragement in just the perfectly weird way that I need it. My faith has been purified of all bullshit.
First and foremost, I've been so amazed by my kids. Just sitting there watching them. They are exasperating little miracles of curiosity, defiance, cuddles, serving, fascination, hard work, laziness, laughter, screaming and everything in between. I've had the priveledge of seeing my daughter grow from a six year old to a 10 year old. I have watched her be a soldier, a girl, a friend, a hero, an inventor, helper and so much more... I have watched my son grow from 4 years old to 8 at home and witnessed his tender heart, his wacky levels of testosterone, his heartbreak, his learning, his getting back up, his voracious appetite for information.
This last week alone, because of homeschool we:
- Got to travel out of town to see a friend in her new house - on a Tuesday night - because we could.
- Got to follow up on a coding project to begin developing Ginger's app, version 2.0 - because we were homeschooling and we had the time and found the resources.
- Got to answer a LOT of questions from dinner guests and learn a tremendous amount of information about their views of education and they are now championing the kids in different projects.
- Had the privilege of visiting a school in Denver that needed books and that visit now has become a weekly date with their Bubbagramps, tutoring at risk kids in reading and spelling.
- Began planning a trip to New Zealand for October to visit another homeschool family.
- During the day, a visit from a window rep became an incredible discovery. He is one of the top 10 youtube videos for card-trick how to's! So, the kids got to see his videos and he was so encouraging of what they were doing at school and they got a free magic lesson, right in their own kitchen!
- I received an incredible amount of generosity from other homeschool moms who are in the battle everyday and yet find the time and energy to stay centered, give to themselves & their families, love on their husbands & kiddos and retain a HUGE sense of humor and adventure. These women, after 4 years of homeschooling, have finally become my "people." I realize that for the first time, I have far fewer friends in the system than out. These people encourage my husband, my family, my kids, my faith, my hope. They are hands-dirty kinda people. I think to be a hands-dirty person for others, you have to own your shit - especially the kind that scares the literall Hell right out of you. You have to face the shame that makes you puke and then know that it wasn't real... we must face our own fears/needs/dysfunction and with that, sort through all of the self-judgement, shame and etc. that we carry (read:get EVERY Brene Brown book you can and pour over it Slowly, painfully). The goal isn't to get rid of the shame, but just see it for what it is, so that it doesn't prevent you from loving fully.
- What I've learned recently as well, is that homeschoolers have an entrepreneurial spirit. They see what is inefficient and they tighten it up. They see what is interesting and pursue it. They see what needs fixing and they fix it. They see what is toxic and they leave it to it's own demise. We are like kids - always asking "why?" and, we don't stop until we are in an environment that supports that. It models a way of being that rewards our own kids curiosity (much to our exhaustion).
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