Curious Education.
Moving from the right-answer result to the adventure of discovery.
Why is the sky blue?
Does the thunder come first or the lightening?
Why do both sugar and water form in crystals?
Is jet lag worse traveling in one direction over another?
How does convection work?
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” “It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.” - Pablo Picasso.
My most childlike curiosity began again when all of the noisy messages about who I was supposed to be and what about me I should curtail or reject came to an abrupt silence. After 41 years, I had finally come into circumstances in life that painfully, wonderfully revealed that the package I was trying to fit myself in, to forge my worth, was a fraud and that it would NEVER be the me, or the love I was searching for. My curiosity was born from simply running out of options for the “right answer” on the deepest level. If the way the world worked on a grand corporate scale was right, then I was content, finally, being a little “wrong” or at least unquantifiable.
Sure, I had allowed a very small trickle of curiosity emerge here and there, when something I tried didn’t work or when I was allowed the freedom of not-knowing for one reason or another. When I begun homeschooling/roamschooling my kids, I had to yield to curiosity in order to do my “best” and to do roam schooling “better” and the “right” way. Before I began, I called Harvard and DU and bent the ear of their amazing admissions staff to make sure they were not anti-homeschooling and, in fact, they were “pro”- independent education. The trickle dried up as I solidified my curriculum and began the familiar type A speed train to success, ahead of the trend, above any acceptable existing standards. However, something unexpected happened. With the efficiency we had in place, questions became just a little bit less of a nuisance and more common. I also noticed that the more questions my kids had, the fewer answers I had. It scared me. So, of course I consulted experts, google and anything else i could find that had the “right answer.” As things progressed, I realized that we were covering a wide breadth of information, but I began thirsting for depth myself. I caught myself… asking… questions (gasp)- about little things as we went along. I was sad when the history book came to an end (NERD ALERT!)
A great example was with Sugar Water & Crystals. My son and I were having breakfast after having just visited the lake shore, watching the newly forming ice crystals reach toward each other across the lake. My son asked why the sugar did not change the color of my coffee the way the creamer did. So, I poured out a bit of sugar on the table so he could see the grainuals. I told him that sugar actually formed into crystals. He said, “like the water?” “yes, huh. I think so.” So, we looked up the molecular structure of sugar on my phone and, lo and behold, there was a water molecule right smack in the middle of the carbon and hydrogen (show slide). Is that why sugar forms as crystals? Do all crystals have an H2O in the middle of their structure? I wanted to see them all on a big spreadsheet. Right then. My son and I had so much fun in our journey along the questions. The fruit of this moment was so rich: Connecting with a 9 year old boy on a superfun, organic level (which is NOT my forte), admitting we don’t know allowed us to run free in the field of what is it? and why? and slide down the delight of if that, then what else is out there? It unveiled humility and faith in the fact that we do NOT bear the burden of being the biggest thing out there and that we are a creative creation of the creator. Wonder was sparked. Curiosity breeds curiosity. So, there in the restaurant we discussed chemistry, humor, seasons, coffee, color, art and laughed a lot. At ourselves and truly experienced delight. Just in existing. We didn’t have to forage for our worth or prove our value. Rigorous academics and rigorous life-lesson.
A curious approach to learning/education is even powerful enough to upend something you have a distaste for, and can suspend a hard prejudice I possessed from the start. I have often reminded myself while instructing my kids that, “If you can learn to learn in a setting you don’t like, from someone you don’t respect, then you can find fun and follow your dreams in anything you do.”
I had to try this out, obviously, as to at least reduce the amount of hypocrisy I dish out on a daily basis. Can I be a curious student/person in a situation where I KNOW I know better? Can I even think of a question when I don’t respect someone? Why does my curiosity seem to be directly proportional to my all-powerful assessments? Is it? I began to be more and more curious about the impacts and byproducts of curiosity. Is curiosity dependent on a emotional state to engage?
I was in a discussion with my husband about a speaker that I honestly think is a joke. I don’t respect his life behind the scenes and really, for me, the proof is in the pudding. So, while my husband, who has been a loyal follower of this person’s work for decades begins to defend his mentor’s benefits, I’ve got my right-answer arsenal ready. After all, who doesn’t enjoy a little tete a tete every once in a while? To me, it’s a turn-on and this curiosity stuff is, well, not as sexy. However, my husband could see it coming and, unfortunately, had been actually listening when I shared my discoveries about curiosity. So, he threw the ball back, “Why don’t you try just being curious about him, or at least curious as to why you are so judgmental of him? Ask some questions of yourself or of me or you could do a little more research and see what comes of it?”
Wait, WHAT?!?! I was so mad and so caught. OK, where were the questions? Blank. Think, think, think. Something simple. Where did he grow up? I could start with that. What were some of his first publications? Has he made any statements regarding his life choices? What are his events really like and why am I so turned off, to the point of anger, at the thought of them? What does that bring out in me? Why so much venom?
I learned, in that brief time, that I softened toward this man, that I don’t even know. I began to feel room for compassion. Empathy. I had more room (at least a little) to release the compulsion to asses and convict. I also had more room for questions to get to know my husband’s value for this speaker’s messages, which brought me into a sacred space with him that I had not wanted to bother with before. Questions. Curiosity. Learning.
With curiosity at the helm, where do the boundaries of “education” start and stop? I’m not sure. I know that education has to do so much. I love the public schools and their willingness to go into unchartered territory with me has been so exciting. So, maybe it’s not a blanket solution for one type of education - whether homeschool, unschool, public, private, hybrid or online. Wherever the source of our education and whatever stage we are at in life. curiosity can bring a depth, wonder, faith and compassion into our view that can create a movement of life-long child-like learners of ourselves and one another. Yes, there are times to fill in the blank or the bubble or tax form. However, if we can introduce time and space and trust for the questions that lead to more questions, we may just discover who we really are, vs. who the right-answer result focused messages tried to convince us we were. Be careful though. This kind of thinking, at least for me, is a bit of a point of no return. It has introduced a freedom in exploration and discovery and wonder that I am not sure I can relinquish and makes me not so adept at the usual cocktail conversation.
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