Honestly, I cannot imagine the last few years being any more difficult for so many reasons.
NONE of them being homeschool (wow).
In fact, most, if not ALL of the joy, love and miraculous-ness has ALL come as a DIRECT result of homeschooling and what it requires and gives off and gives birth to.
A daily example - this week, no - even just the last TWO DAYS have been an epic example of the magic that still exists in this horrible world. That God still does provide little miracles of encouragement in just the perfectly weird way that I need it. My faith has been purified of all bullshit.
First and foremost, I've been so amazed by my kids. Just sitting there watching them. They are exasperating little miracles of curiosity, defiance, cuddles, serving, fascination, hard work, laziness, laughter, screaming and everything in between. I've had the priveledge of seeing my daughter grow from a six year old to a 10 year old. I have watched her be a soldier, a girl, a friend, a hero, an inventor, helper and so much more... I have watched my son grow from 4 years old to 8 at home and witnessed his tender heart, his wacky levels of testosterone, his heartbreak, his learning, his getting back up, his voracious appetite for information.
This last week alone, because of homeschool we:
- Got to travel out of town to see a friend in her new house - on a Tuesday night - because we could.
- Got to follow up on a coding project to begin developing Ginger's app, version 2.0 - because we were homeschooling and we had the time and found the resources.
- Got to answer a LOT of questions from dinner guests and learn a tremendous amount of information about their views of education and they are now championing the kids in different projects.
- Had the privilege of visiting a school in Denver that needed books and that visit now has become a weekly date with their Bubbagramps, tutoring at risk kids in reading and spelling.
- Began planning a trip to New Zealand for October to visit another homeschool family.
- During the day, a visit from a window rep became an incredible discovery. He is one of the top 10 youtube videos for card-trick how to's! So, the kids got to see his videos and he was so encouraging of what they were doing at school and they got a free magic lesson, right in their own kitchen!
- I received an incredible amount of generosity from other homeschool moms who are in the battle everyday and yet find the time and energy to stay centered, give to themselves & their families, love on their husbands & kiddos and retain a HUGE sense of humor and adventure. These women, after 4 years of homeschooling, have finally become my "people." I realize that for the first time, I have far fewer friends in the system than out. These people encourage my husband, my family, my kids, my faith, my hope. They are hands-dirty kinda people. I think to be a hands-dirty person for others, you have to own your shit - especially the kind that scares the literall Hell right out of you. You have to face the shame that makes you puke and then know that it wasn't real... we must face our own fears/needs/dysfunction and with that, sort through all of the self-judgement, shame and etc. that we carry (read:get EVERY Brene Brown book you can and pour over it Slowly, painfully). The goal isn't to get rid of the shame, but just see it for what it is, so that it doesn't prevent you from loving fully.
- What I've learned recently as well, is that homeschoolers have an entrepreneurial spirit. They see what is inefficient and they tighten it up. They see what is interesting and pursue it. They see what needs fixing and they fix it. They see what is toxic and they leave it to it's own demise. We are like kids - always asking "why?" and, we don't stop until we are in an environment that supports that. It models a way of being that rewards our own kids curiosity (much to our exhaustion).
