SO SAD - I had written a post about the last 13 weeks and closed the window before I had saved it. BUMMER!
OK so, start again. My Dad, the writer, always says writers rewrite and my Mom the painter paints the SAME painting 10 times if she doesn't like it. So, I guess I can rewrite once and not complain too much.
Our family took an incredible vacation to Orcas Island in August before we started school. It was beyond refreshing and gave me a chance to do quite a bit of prep for school as well as just relax.
The first day of Anderson Academy was August 17, 2012 - at Ginger's request.
It was the first day of the neighborhood school and Grant's first day at Pre-K. So, there it was. I had done a lot of prep for this semester and then went backwards in prep for the months, weeks then days. So, I had listed on our white board many many things to do, as well as the time I thought it would take us - and the classroom looked awesome :-).
Ginger came bounding downstairs in her jammies and decided that would be the unofficial school uniform! Love it.
I was nervous and felt like an impostor; however, I've practiced the "fake-it-till-ya-make-it/sink-or-swim" combo many times before and it seems to work wonders when your actual confidence bails on you. Anywhoo - we had a great day and I had everything planned so that we could be done with "school" by the time we went to pick up Grant.
Ginger was - and is - so eager to do school - it's a bit bizarre. I fully expect she's still in the honeymoon phase, but she's been sure about this for the last three years. Who knew? I have asked her if homeschool is what she expected and she just says, "yea. well, I didn't know what to expect." Even on the darkest days (my side as a teacher - yikes) she's never looked back.
Day 2. August 18, 2012.
We decide to have a playdate with her friend Kayla from preschool cause she hasn't started school yet and because now, "we can." I took Ginger, Grant & Kayla to the pool at the gym cause the neighborhood pool wasn't open during the early part of the day anymore. It was deserted. I thought I would love that, as then it is so much easier to keep track of the kids and we are "beating the system." it was lonely. It was weird. I started to feel my heart beating faster and I felt my breath becoming shallower. What in the world am I doing?
Enter in desperate dramatic thought -
"I am without the community I had in the neighborhood"
"No chit chat at drop-off, library duty, room mom stuff - nothing. Isolation. I'm weirder."
"what am i doing to my kids? There's no one to play with here... their friends are all in SCHOOL somewhere!"
"I don't know if the kids still need backpacks? "
"I suck at this!"
"What about my life?"
I backpedalled all the way down the rabbit hole.
Then, when it was time to go home, Ginger's friend said it must be nice to homeschool because family is so nice. That was weird.
I was sinking into culture shock. I felt like I was living someone else's life and yet saw my other choices as antiquated. I've drunk the koolaid but still miss/remember the taste of what was. New wineskin is itchy and irritating and unfamiliar.
Day 3. I'm now adapting a routine. 8:00pm(night b4), put kids to bed - 8:45, lesson planning for the next day. Prep white board, supplies, books, etc. I firmly believe that if you put in an enormous amount of work into anything to begin with - the payoff down the road is well worth it and you've built a solid foundation. So, I work for an hour or two each night at the beginning - just to cover my bases and research the different methodologies each of our curricula required.
Day 3 goes remarkably smoothly. I chose a math curriculum that I love and started behind a couple of levels so that Ginger would feel confident with the lessons and that I would be able to catch up to my own adjustments before tackling newer math concepts with her.
Now, day whatever, ending week 13. It is amazing how smooth the transition has been, considering that I don't fit in anywhere and don't know what's happening around me. The time flies by and the certainty only increases. I don't enjoy the pain of discovering my shortcomings in such technicolor - but it allows me to finally be aware of them, which is the beginning of growing beyond them, or, embracing how God made me. How God made Ginger - and Grant.
I have experienced that our family is somehow more of a family. This I cannot explain except I realized that sometimes during the beginning of homeschool I wanted to shut down - something scared me about the intimacy of it. The stillness of it. The we're-together-all-the-time part. After a few weeks, it hit me. I have compartmentalized my life since I can remember. Especially as it had to do with family - because it was sometimes painful without purpose or resolution. Now, with my own family, I have done some of the same. It's not that my boundaries are gone now - those will always be healthy - but the defenses are exposed for what they are and wholly unnecessary. Anyway - I'm thinking out loud as I go - so, I'm not sure of the coherence of this....
I have realized too that I am more of an introvert than I once thought. There is a peace in simplicity of action and mind. God is much more integrated into our lives as well. A spiritual experience instead of a spiritual appointment.
So many things to discuss... So many unexpected gifts from this... this... hard... work....
I will post again soon - but to sum up:
This is EXACTLY where we are supposed to be. Confirmed ad-nauseum.
Uncomfortable. Lonely. Scary. Stupid. Irritating. Miraculous. Oh yea, and, we're learning a LOT academically - VERY rigorous - incredible resources out there of all kinds.... funny how that seems like an aside compared to everything else we're learning :-).
Pictures coming lata -
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