RANDOM REVELATIONS OF YUMMINESS

After writing that last post and spending a day with my kids, and writing and thinking and listening to sweet music in the backyard - My inner non-conformist efficiency-addict is.... getting.... VERY... VERY... excited!  Fear is beginning to wane today....  Have done a bit of housework but nothing major :-).  The permission that I can love and observe and listen is beyond refreshing... I used to adore the external corporate schedule.  Tell me what to do and underpay me.  It's worth it because I KNOW I can pay my rent (barely).  I know where to go.  I know what to say and how to email and who to cc and bcc and who not to.  I know how to leave early without the boss knowing, because I'm not doing anything anyway.  Working for myself was like the same cliff as homeschooling.  I thought I would be swallowed alive and that no check would come without first going through a colossal HR department first.  No one telling me what to do but me?  Ooooh wait!  I remember that concept!  When I was a dancer and choreographing a solo piece.  No one but me.  I pushed myself harder and was more creative than I'd ever had to be when in class.  The technique and practice empowered me to move in a way that truly expressed how strange my thoughts were.  Or, express beauty that was painful or pain that was beautiful...  How am I drawing these connections now...  who CARES?  I see God in this fluidity...